2024 .11.22
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3
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Quoting Coulter is kind of like quoting Joe McCarthy; no doubt it does well when you're pandering to a group of like-minded hate mongerers, but it earns you a well-deserved reputation as a vicious, mean-spirited airhead and intellecual lightweight in more analytical and dispassionate circles.
6
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Finagle's Law of Dynamic Negatives: Anything that can go wrong, will -- at the worst possible moment.
13
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Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches.
14
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What is morally wrong can never be advantageous, even when it enables you to make some gain that you believe to be to your advantage.
17
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Barabási's Law of Programming: Program development ends when the program does what you expect it to do whether it is correct or not.
20
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As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air however slight lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
24
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Tact is the ability to tell a man he has an open mind when he has a hole in his head.
25
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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.
27
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If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
31
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First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
32
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The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
38
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Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT'S relativity.
43
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Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
44
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The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
49
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The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
50
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As the post said, 'Only God can make a tree,' probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.
55
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A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
57
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In science one tries to tell people, in such a way as to be understood by everyone, something that no one ever knew before. But in poetry, it's the exact opposite.
58
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I was playing poker the other night... with Tarot cards. I got a full house and 4 people died.
61
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Misunderstandings and neglect create more confusion in this world than trickery and malice. At any rate, the last two are certainly much less frequent.
62
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Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid, the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one off.
63
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Paramount among the responsibilities of a free press is the duty to prevent any part of the government from deceiving the people.
68
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Raymond's Law of Software: Given a sufficiently large number of eyeballs, all bugs are shallow.
69
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O'Toole's Corollary of Finagle's Law: The perversity of the Universe tends towards a maximum.
70
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I'm always amazed to hear of air crash victims so badly mutilated that they have to be identified by their dental records. What I can't understand is, if they don't know who you are, how do they know who your dentist is?
72
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The man who does not read good books has no advantage over the man who cannot read them.
73
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No mention of God. They keep Him up their sleeves for as long as they can, vicars do. They know it puts people off.
74
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Heav'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn'd, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn'd.
76
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To the Honourable Member opposite I say, when he goes home tonight, may his mother run out from under the porch and bark at him
77
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The significant problems we face cannot be solved at the same level of thinking we were at when we created them.
78
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Sterling's Corollary to Clarke's Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
79
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How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself.
81
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I admire the Pope. I have a lot of respect for anyone who can tour without an album.
82
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So I rang up a local building firm, I said 'I want a skip outside my house.' He said 'I'm not stopping you.'
83
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I once heard two ladies going on and on about the pains of childbirth and how men don't seem to know what real pain is. I asked if either of them ever got themselves caught in a zipper.
87
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I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
88
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Some men, in order to prevent the supposed intentions of their adversaries, have committed the most enormous cruelties.
89
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I'm not under the alkafluence of inkahol that some thinkle peep I am. It's just the drunker I sit here the longer I get.
90
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Descended from the apes? Let us hope that it is not true. But if it is, let us pray that it may not become generally known.
93
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Before the war is ended, the war party assumes the divine right to denounce and silence all opposition to war as unpatriotic and cowardly.
97
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And God said, 'Let there be light' and there was light, but the Electricity Board said He would have to wait until Thursday to be connected.
98
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